F***-it list

Today a friend posted on Facebook that he hated the term “bucket list” and wished people would stop using it. I replied that I had a “f***-it list” and that it was full of things I will never do.

I didn’t, in fact, have such a list, but I think I will make one.  I figure it’s gotta be a lot easier to check things off a f***-it list than a bucket list. So, here goes…

Things I will never do (at least voluntarily)

1. Bite into a raw tomato

2. Bite into an avocado

3. Swim in the Ganges

4. Run a marathon

5. Own a Kenny Chesney album

6. Own a Jennifer Lopez album

7. Buy cocaine

8. Own a black car with gold trim

9. Fly a commercial airplane

10. Grow my hair to my waist

11. Work as a secretary

12. Work as a backhoe operator

13. Vote for Donald Trump

14. Watch Survivor

15. Shop at Wal-Mart

16. East any kind of insect

17. Appear in a reality show

18. Have a  sex tape surface

19. Participate in a “polar bear” swim

20. Sing a solo of the National Anthem in public

21. Run for office

22. Surf in Hawaii

23. Climb Mt. Everest

24. Be on a cruise ship during a hurricane

25. Drink a pint of Guinness

26. Go hunting

There, that’s a good start. I’m sure I will add many more.

What’s on your f***-it list?

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